The new hooker had just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said, "Well, he was a big, muscular and handsome marine."
"Well? What did he want to do?" they all asked.
She said, "I told him that a straight lay was $100, but he said he did not have that much. So, I told him a blow job would be $75, but he did not have that much either. Finally I said, 'Well how much do you have?' The marine said he only had $25. So, I told him, 'For $25, all I can give you is a hand job.' He agreed and after getting the finances straight, he pulled it out. I put one hand on it. Then, I put the other hand above that one."
She paused, raised her eyebrows, and then continues, "Then I put the first hand above the second hand..."
"Oh my God!" they all exclaimed, "it must have been huge! Then what did you do?"
"I loaned him $75!"
Johnny missed his final exam due to the flu, but he'd done so well during the year that the teacher suggests to the principal they give him an oral exam to make up for the test he'd missed. The principal agrees so they called Johnny into the office and explain about the oral test.
First the teacher asks, "Johnny what does a cow have four of, that I only have two of?"
Johnny replies, "Legs."
So the teacher asks, "Johnny, what do you have in your pants that I don't have in my pants?"
"Pockets," Johnny replies.
Finally the teacher asks, "And Johnny, what is the capital of Italy?"
"Rome," is his answer.
With that the teacher turns to the principal and asks, "Well, shall we pass him?"
"Better not ask me," the principal says, "I got the first two wrong!"
Two couples decide to spend the weekend away together at a posh hotel. When they get there, one guy suggests they indulge in partner-swapping as a trial. After 2 hours of solid sex by the fireside, the guy turned to his new partner and said, "Wow! This is the very best sex I had in years. I wonder how the girls are doing?"
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. Discipline was not a problem from that day forth!
Well my friends they are all you're getting until 20th May as I'm off to Vilamaura Portugal ............
Devious Comments
Thank you for the
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